Ministering with Laser Focus

Do you believe in a God who is able to re-arrange circumstances and position you to do what He has called you to do? If not, you will never do that thing.

I believe we should all minister with laser focus, seeking to do exactly what God has passionately put on our hearts to do. Do you know what it is? Do you know your spiritual shape? Your shape is your spiritual gifts, heart, ability, personality and experience, which combine to give you more than a very strong clue what you are made to do. (See S.H.A.P.E., Eric Rees with Rick Warren)

Are you telling the leaders of your church and those you know in ministry what is that shape? (Or letting them help you discover it?) Are you seeking to re-arrange (prioritize, focus, train, etc.) in such a way that you can carry out your purpose?

Don’t live a half-hearted cultural Christianity that whines, ‘I think I’d be good at X, but I just can’t seem to find a place to serve.’ Garbage!

Or that whines, ‘I’d serve God more if I just had some special gift, but I don’t.’ You deny the truth of the Word to think such a thing!

YOU were created to consistently make an impact on a lost world in at least one significant way. Search it out. Then act on it. Live with a laser focus. Jesus did. And if you know Him, He lives in -- and through! -- you.

Relationship Building -- Just Be There!

The old saying, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' might have very limited, practical application in romantic relationships, but if applied to parenting it is a bonafide disaster.

As we approach Thanksgiving, and then Christmas (in reality, it has all rolled into one, so much so that the business world from this week on says, 'Get back to me in the new year'), my strong encouragement is to be with your children.

I don't mean to merely be present. I mean to be in relationship with them. Pastor Sager said Sunday, "When you're in love, presence communicates; you don't always need words." The same is true in some instances with parenting -- you don't always have to be 'having a talk' or working on a school project. They just want to be with us as we do . . . well, whatever we do! Decorating the tree or the house. Fixing a meal (I know it would be easier to do it yourself, but it wouldn't be better).

As the maddening busyness of the holidays begins to take over your calendar, mind and emotions, take control and create relational time with each of your immediate family members. Plan times of nothing but being together. Or, plan times of being together in an activity that does not require so much of the mind that you functionally don't know you're together. Plan one-on-ones with the kids (and the spouse).

Go see 'Christmas Carol' and 'The Blindside' as a family, then talk about them, laugh about the funny parts, flesh out any life lessons in each.

If you don't take control of your holidays, they will stress you, stress your children, perpetuate the American Cultural Serve-Me Stuff Grab, and widening the relational gap between you and the ones you love most.

Don't let it happen.

Links & Quotes

• This is good stuff! A great way to build relationship with and connect deeply with your child, especially 10s-to-14s. http://impulsivejoy.blogspot.com/2009/11/tell-me-story.html
• Great conversation starter over Thanksgiving: What do you want to be known for? Check this out. http://blog.stocksohio.com/2009/11/17/what-do-you-want-to-be-known-for-another-jacob-moment/
• Google goes safe for your kids. http://uptownkids.tv/wordpress/?p=2234
• "I must learn life’s lessons today in order to experience life’s successes tomorrow. Success tastes best when you pass those lessons on." -- from @MikeLandry on Twitter.
• "A true friend is the one who walks into the room when everyone else is walking out." -- from @IkeReighard.
• "A true disciple inquires not whether a fact is agreeable to his own reason, but whether it is in The Book." - Adoniram Judson, via @JoshuaHarris

Preserved By God

"Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust." -- Psalm 16:1

Isn't that a great way to start your week? By calling out to God to preserve you, and affirming your trust in Him?

To preserve something means to keep it from decay, to keep it from 'ruining.' I don't want to ruin! I want to live in power for Jesus! The world is decaying -- I don't want to keep up with the world! Man's mind is decaying. The moral and ethical standard is decaying. Man is off-center, missing the mark (sinning!).

Instead, you and I want to be preserved.

You've probably eaten 'preserves' before, often meaning a jam or jelly that your mother or grandmother may have preserved. What do you do to preserve something? You put it in something that will

• Protect from the outside
• Maintain (preserve) it's freshness and and quality

That's what we want for the Life of Christ in us! We should ask our Father to protect us from the outside, from the temptations and attacks that could diminish our ruin the quality of character and gifts God has given us, and thus render us useless.

There are approximately 18 Hebrew words used to 'preserve' and they all have a different inkling. This one, 'Shamar' is overwhelmingly interpreted to mean 'to keep,' 'to observe' and 'to guard,' thus translated 'preserve.' The theme of God's protection of His chosen people is overwhelming in the Old Testament, with 440 forms of reference to preserving.

If you know Christ, God has put in you purpose, peace, power, spiritual giftedness. Let's go forward this week knowing we are protected and thus empowered to impact everyone around us.

How to Raise Thankful Children, Part I

Define Thankfulness
Give some serious thought and come up with your own answer.
Mine: Expressed appreciation and evident valuing of a blessing
Expressed because it should be stated, but evident because many people express insincerely. In other words, one should show his thankfulness by his life

James MacDonald, in his excellent book, 'Lord, Change My Attitude', says, “Thankfulness is the attitude that perfectly displaces my sinful tendency to complain and thereby releases joy and blessing into my life.”

Luke 17:11-19
“Now it happened as He went to Jerusalem that He passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee. Then as He entered a certain village there met Him ten men who were lepers, who stood afar off. And they lifted up their voices and said, ‘Jesus, Master, have mercy of us!’ So when He saw them He said to them, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And so it was that as they went, they were cleansed. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan. So Jesus answered and said, ‘Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?’ And He said to him, ‘Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.’ “

Thankfulness Is Engendered by Genuine Obedience
But as this story shows, Obedience isn’t always Genuine

Jesus tells them to go show themselves to the priests (they had to do this to have permission to go back to their families), so they headed off in that direction. “as they went” they were cleansed. Game over for nine of them!

Nine lepers displayed temporary, pragmatic obedience. This is often what our children do, and frankly, often what WE do. They obeyed up to the point that they got what they wanted, then they were done with Jesus, done with the leader, the authority, the parent, etc.

We must teach and demand obedience from our children, not just because we are the authority – though that is true – but because it engenders the qualities that lead to real thankfulness

How? By giving value to authority, to leadership, to power, and thus giving context that engenders thankfulness. Have you ever seen a thankful disobedient child or person?

Humility is a Pre-Requisite for Obedience
“And one of them, when he saw” . . .

We must see with obedience and humility that gives context to life. He saw a contrast. He saw that he was a leper but now was healed. He realized he could go to his family, if he had a wife and kids, he could touch them. He didn’t have to live the humiliation of yelling ‘unclean’ everywhere he went.

The other nine lepers were self-focused. Their obedience was not genuine; well, it may have been genuine but it was genuinely self-serving! The disingenuous person is rarely thankful. Sincerity isn’t evident in his life, because his life is about himself.

We must teach about humility. That starts by showing some! Study it. Observe it. Point it out. Let many teachable moments be about humility.

Humility and Obedience lead to Thankfulness
This is the obvious conclusion once the issue is studied, though on the surface, they might not be obvious qualities related to humility

“when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks”

And Jesus told Him
“your faith has made you well”

The first nine didn’t leave significantly better off; they were still self-serving, they were still lepers on the inside
The genuinely obedient and humble man was changed -- outside and inside

When the Holy Spirit Intercedes in Parenting

I love it when the Holy Spirit does the parenting -- it really takes me off the hook, and makes my error margin ZERO!

This recently happened when I was dealing with one of our girls. Stick with me -- this is an important illustration of something I hope happens much more! The 14-year-old has a particular unhealthy bent that borders on sin. She did four things in a three-day period that related to this unhealthy bent. I could have given her a stern lecture, been exactly and Biblically right, and gotten back a defensive, stiff look. In doing so, progress would have been neglible, if any.

But the Holy Spirit got my attention. As I was contemplating how to deal with it, He said, "I'll handle this." I said, "What?" He repeated, then expanded, "I'll handle this. You just put the issue before her, and tell her to deal with me on it."

Let's pause here. This only works if your child a) knows Christ, and b) exhibits a desire for spiritual growth (i.e., you see evidence of a walk with Christ).

Because this child/woman had shown me enough evidence of a walk, because I know she loves the Lord even though she is imperfect (as I am), I could believe that she would willingly hear from the Holy Spirit about her actions/attitude.

So I sat her down, and in a gracious tone of voice (that doesn't always happen . . . .) said, "You are not in trouble with me, and I do not request a response from you on what I'm about to say. I want to say four things (four statements of the four things she'd done over three days), then I simply want you to put those things before the Father and deal with them, OK?" She readily agreed (beats getting chewed out and punished!). I said what I had to say, and told her we were finished with the issue.

Instead of taking my 'easy out' and walking away, she asked why I handled it that way. This was a great chance for affirmation! I said, "One, I'm growing in my trust of My Father to be your Father. He sometimes tells me to let Him handle it. Now, you may not ever use that against me -- most often He uses me or mom  to speak to you. Two, I can see that you love the Lord, that you hunger for His truth, and therefore I increasingly believe you will listen to the Holy Spirit when He speaks."

I am not naive enough to think we'll never see the issue again, but my point is that I believe (especially from comments she made later) that the Holy Spirit had already dealt with her, and that I (in a rare win!) successful avoided exasperating the child, while showing faith in God.

I hope that's useful to someone.

Great Quotes, Links, Info

• So solid, a must read! http://www.shepherdshillfarm.org/blog/how-parents-can-enable-troubled-teens-to-be-troubled/
• This particular post is about discerning the 'lost' from the 'saved;' or, to be more precise, the danger in trying to do that. It is not directly relevant to parenting, but is so powerful I wanted to share it, for those interested in the subject. http://www.graceforlife.com/2006/04/tare-police.html
• Interesting site for parents of troubled teens. Might be relevant to you, or worth keeping, or something to refer to someone else. http://www.christiantroubledteens.co.cc/
• Great thought from Dr. Don Whitney, discipleship guru from Southern Seminary: "Some of the most important changes in my life occurred when I thought to ask, What does the Bible say about this?' The way I spend the Lord's Day, for example, and my thinking about what activities please God in worship were dramatically changed when I purposed to study what God's Word said about those matters.
  Far more often than we do, Christians should ask such questions. In our relationships, finances, use of time, priorities, parenting, simplifying, and everything else, we should more quickly ask, "What does the Bible say about this?"
  
• "I'm afraid this generation is spending less and less time praying because we've made ourselves so busy." -Francis Chan
  
• "'Propitiation' for kids: Its where you were going to get spanked & Jesus put his butt in the way "  --Mike of Tenth Ave North
  
• This has to be on your kitchen board: "The more self-centered I am, the more unsatisfied I'll be." -- Rick Warren
  
  
  
  

Leaders -- Whom Are You Addressing, & How?

Do you ever skip the preamable to epistles? I've done that. Bad idea. In many of them, it is more than, 'Hi guys, it's me, Paul (or whomever).'

Take Jude, for instance. "Jude, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, and a brother of James, to those who are called, sanctified by God the Father, and preserved in Jesus Christ: Mercy, pleace and love be multiplied to you." (v.s 1-2)

1 -- Jude was a bondservant of Jesus Christ. You are too!
2 -- Jude was teaching the church, 'the called.' You are too!
3 -- The condition of the 'called' was 'sanctified' and 'preserved' in Jesus Christ. That is, they were in the process of growth and were held for eternity. This is an important perspective to remember when teaching. We must know our audience! It's spiritual condition, and it's level of maturity. Study it, make application on their level (or it's not application), but remember their eternal condition. They are His, and His Spirit is in them to help illuminate what you teach. You are literally working in conjunction with the Holy Spirit, if led by Him.
4 -- Jude wanted to impart to his readers, his 'class', his 'Bible Fellowship'

• Mercy. Always show 'mercy' toward your people. God granted it to you and me; let's teach in a 'merciful' mindset, not as one with 'religious truth' to pound people with.
• Peace. There is nothing more foreign to our American Culture, including American Christian Culture, than peace! Show them how Jesus gave peace (by the Spirit, and not as the world does)
• Love. There is nothing more misunderstood in our culture than 'love.' Teach them what Biblical love -- Jesus love -- is (actively and tenderly choosing someone's elses best interest over your own).

Everything in Scripture is, well, Scripture! It is of value. Thanks for making a difference.

How God Spoke through a Dog

Hey, if God can do donkies . . . Seriously, here is a great message from Linda Byrd, responding to my blog post about some people having more intimacy with their dog than with God. Linda writes, "On 10/8/09 my precious 5 month old English Springer Spaniel went missing out of my backyard. I thought my heart would literally break inside of me. I searched for her everywhere for 3 days. (this was durning our Mission Expo) I called for her. I looked for her. If you were out in your yard I stopped and asked if you had seen my puppy and told you all the particulars. I began to bargain with God, I'll pray more, I'll do my devotions without fail just bring her home and oh yeah, thank you Lord for not taking one of my children to get my attention, just my puppy that I had waited on for 17 years. On 10/10/09 I searched again in the only area that I thought she could be and saw a huge coyote. My heart sank and I felt sick. I began to say that someone must have her at their house and at least she was safe. On Sunday night, the end of Expo, we were singing a song that I can not remember when out of no where I felt a great impression of the following: "You say you love Me with all your heart and You say you know of My saving grace, how is it you can talk to totally strangers and friends about finding your dog, but can't even bother to tell them I love them."


I went home and left the porch light on, the fence gate open and the back porch door open for the 3 night in a row. I wondered how much longer would I do this ritual since she was not coming home. I went to bed with a little less sadness, and wondering how to tell others about Jesus more.

Monday morning at 5 a.m., my husband Todd got up, fixed coffee, looked on the back porch and the next sound I heard was dog toenails on linoleum. One of the sweetest sounds I have heard since the first breath of my children. My puppy was home! God used my dog to show me where I lacked for Him. I still struggle with how and when to speak to someone about Jesus, but I am trying and I am using my puppy to do so."

God is Dog Backward & Some Relate Better to the Dog

So many among the American Cultural Christians of our day have more intimacy with their dog than Jesus. Think about it. They pet the dog, speak sweetly to the dog, snuggle the dog, maybe even sleep with it. The dog is a direct comfort to them. I see some poor folks in the world who can't do relationships with people, so they have dogs. Or cats.

How is it that we can't effectively have a relationship with a Being Who says, "I know you completely, I forgive you of everything you've ever done wrong or will do wrong, and I love you completely?" On a purely pragmatic level, isn't that a great deal? Isn't that unconditional love?

This is the same God who has broken down all the religious barriers (though we keep resurrecting them) to Himself and granted us total access. Think of the people to whom you'd like to have total access, or the events to which you'd like to have an all access pass? The president. The oval office. A major CEO. Billy Graham. The Super Bowl.

Yet we have access into the Holy of Holies. When Jesus surrendered His Spirit, the veil in the temple was torn, and no longer did a priest (his ankles tied to a rope in case he had sinned!) have to go in (and only once a year and under very precise conditions) for us. No, we were declared priets, given access. Religion was destroyed. Relationship was established. God gives a second chance. We win!

Unless we stay outside. Unless we prefer our religious rites, that make us feel a little better for a very little while but leave us hungry and unchanged.

Even now, when a Christ follower doesn't know to pray, what to pray, or is even too lazy to pray, the Holy Spirit is interceding with groanings we cannot understand. Jesus is sittting at the right hand of the Father interceding. Get this: two-thirds of the Trinity is interceding with the other third on your behalf constantly!

And we won't talk to Him hardly, apart from throwing up a list (which makes Him want to throw up). Apart from a Hail Mary (pun intended) pass. Or maybe at the dinner table (but be quick, before the food gets cold), or at the start of a religious meeting, which is often nothing more than, well, a religious meeting.

I cannot imagine how empty, pointless and frustrating life would be if I knew I could not speak directly with God the Father -- and more importantly, hear directly from God the Father.

I love my dog. He's a cute little fellow. But I prefer a real relationship. I challenge you to go deeper with God. Enter the Holy of Holies. Sit. Listen. Talk some, but please, mostly listen. He thinks you are incredible. He loves you more than your dog does. And He wants to hang out.

How to Raise Prosperous Children

“This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:8-9

Prosperous → xlc → tsalach → to advance, succeed, be profitable

“For then you will make your way prosperous,
And then you will have good success”

‘Then’ indicates a condition(s) preceeding. The conditions, and the process of teaching raising prosperous children:

Teach Them the Word of God
 “This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth”

Listen to what comes out of a person’s mouth, and you will know A LOT about them. Critical, depressed, positive, negative, uplifting, optimistic . . . .spend a little time around someone, and you’ll know. This instruction suggest that what should be in/on/out of our mouth is the Word of God.

That doesn’t mean you’re an obnoxious religious zealot who has to force a Scripture reference out of your mouth every other sentence. It means that you speak truth, and that in doing so the Word of God is common in your language.

You can’t do that – your children can’t do that – without knowing the Word of God

Help Them Understand the Word of God
”You shall meditate on it day and night”

That means study it, contemplate it, contextualize it.

This is one of the greatest challenges we face in our growth, and in leading our children. We and they hear a Bible verse, but what do we do with it?

Teach Them to Obey The Word of God
“that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it”

This won’t be so hard if steps one and two are in order!

Remember that Scripture? Remember how we said it applies to life? That means now.

Then the Promise↓

“For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success”

Summary Statement→The Word of God simply tells us that if we learn the Word, focus on the Word so that we understand its context, and obey the Word, we will succeeed.

Note the passage twice says “you.”
The first “you” indicates a personal choice – the onus is on the person learning.
The second “you” says “you will make your way prosperous”

YOU. Not God. The child, not God, not the parent. YOU.

Now all blessing flow from God, and He deserves the glory, no doubt. But I believe this “you” indicates that the choice for prosperity – at least in some aspects of life – is that of the individual, BECAUSE IF he learned, understood and obeyed the Word, he would be in the center of God’s will and blessing!

Is that where you want your children?

To learn, understand and obey the Word – that is, to LIVE IT OUT – must be challenging in any culture, because the Word says next, “Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Hence the fourth instruction.

Teach Them to not Wilt Under Pressure
We must stand firm in the truth and teach our children to. How? By putting them in positions, small at first, to courageously live out the truth. The challenges will grow large rather naturally as they grow up.

Then another Promise↓
“Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” This is literal and figurative. If you know the Word, He is with you in that you know His truth and can state it. But in Acts 2 the Holy Spirit came, and for us modern-day believers, He is literally with us 1) reminding us of the Word; 2) making it make sense for us; 3) counseling us; 4) comforting us; 5) giving us peace; 6) giving us power.

Key Relevant Question↓
Where does learning, contextualizing and obeying the Word of God lead us? What does it mean ‘to prosper’?

I think to ‘prosper’ in our life would mean to live in the center of God’s will. That’s where He is. That’s where He wants us. That’s where “good works He has planned in advance for us” reside, the things He wants to do in us – and in our children – that will reveal Him and bring Him glory and transform other lives.

So in essence this instruction is about being in God’s will.

But we see in our ‘church culture’ very few people actually walking in the center of God’s will. Why? Simple disobedience. Profound self-focus.

Francis Chan, in his new book, Forgotten God writes that we shouldn’t be fussing with ourselves and God over His will, but instead should “seek hard after the Spirit’s leading in my life today.”

One day at a time following His instructions/leadings for that day will lead you squarely to the center of God’s will.

THE Key Question
What place have God and His Word in your life?

‘Cultural Christianity’, which is what most everybody you know lives, suggests we have a ‘balance life.’ Chan writes, “Nowhere in Scripture do I see a ‘balanced life with a little bit of God added in . . . yet when I look at our churches this is exactly what I see: a lot of people who have added Jesus to their lives. People who have, in a sense, asked Him to join them on their life journey, to follow them wherever they feel they should go, rather than following Him as we are commanded.”

How does all this relate to parenting? Do you want to raise ‘cultural Christians’ to use God as a magic genie-bailout-crutch, or do you want to raise prosperous children who live in the center of God’s will?

There is a difference between facilitating our children’s desires and guiding them into worthy desires. You are doing one or the other, depending on whether you are teaching them to Biblically prosper or prosper in the world’s way.