Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Links, Quotes, Thoughts and A Rant on Parenting

  • See the 'Personal Letters' entry for Aug. 29 from the following blog. It's a great way to impact your children! http://nvcparents.wordpress.com/
  • Any preschoolers at home? Check out this family devo option: http://www.lifepointchurch.org/preschoolseries
  • Teens old enough to drive? PARENTS driving? This ought to be a wake-up call: http://michaelhyatt.com/2009/08/driving-while-texting-is-really-dangerous.html
  • Some of you have sown your wild oats and now you're hoping for a crop failure." -- Doug Sager. That applies to some parents, who hope what we did doesn't 'trickle down.' Sometimes they don't know what we did. Sometimes they know our history a little more. I strongly believe that if our children know much at all about our past being less than best, we influence them better by owning it, telling the kids how and why we wish we'd done better, and telling them what you expect and that what you've done is no excuse. Of course, living Godly before them is the course correction that shows them the integrity in your words and life.
  • It is hard work being a parent! (if we do it right). But this reminder from Frederick Douglass: "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."
  • Great tips/reminders here on parenting tips. Definitely worth your review. http://www.anniefox.com/parents/parent_teen_relationships.html



A Rant, and Introspection on the Culture's Impact on Our Children
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him.” – 1 John 2:15

As parents we must apply Scripture to our own lives, but also apply it to the life of our children and family. In that context, this verse is very, very hard to process. If you live in America, if you live in upper-middle-class West Knoxville or somewhere remotely similar, then it is very hard not to love the world.

We must ask ourselves hard, introspect questions, and we must work hard to answer them through God’s lens. Then, we must make steady -- perhaps slow, but at least consistent and steady -- progress toward re-centering with God's Truth. What qualifies as ‘the world?’ What does it mean to ‘love’ it? Does it mean we shouldn’t go out to dinner and the movies? Does it mean we can’t enjoy pleasures this world offers?

This is such deep stuff that, frankly, most who call themselves Christians don’t bother wrestling with it. They just keep trying to live for Jesus while living for the world – an impossibility. The Bible refers to them as 'double-minded' people, and I'm too often guilty! For those who want to grapple with the issue, they find themselves in a consistent -- albeit healthy -- tension. Staying in the Word and listening to the Spirit minute-by-minute is what brings victory.

Certainly, we are not to build a literal fortress and separate from the world. We are to be “in the world, but not of it” according to Scripture. I rarely favor any of the ‘boycots’ of businesses, etc., such as the Disney boycott. (I agree with my cousin, Russ, who says that on Gay Day at Disney we Christians should buy all the tickets we can, go there, and show people the love of Christ; and no, I’m not suggesting you take your impressionable younger children; I'm suggesting we live this out instead of just throwing stones. Taking a stand is one thing. Enhancing our unapproachability is another complete. As I 'preach' about parenting consistently: we can be right all day long and LOSE because of how we sent the message)
The issue of when and how we interact with the world calls for drawing some fine lines. It calls for spiritual discernment that only the Holy Spirit can give. But perhaps we can develop some diagnostic questions that help us evaluate whether we are ‘loving the world’ instead of the Lord. These are in the context of our children, but you can apply them to yourself, of course. And this is just my best-shot-for-now at it.


1) With whom do our children associate mostly as close personal friends?
2) How are our children mostly entertained?
3) What is the media’s specific role in shaping your child’s mind?
          a. What does your child watch on television, and for how long?
          b. What kind of books does your child read?
          c. What type of video games does your child play?
4) What does your child’s dress say about the influence of the culture and media on them?
5) What are our children's activities, and what/why have they been influenced to them? What are those activities gaining them in the end? (which is not a suggestive question that doing something for mere pleasure is wrong).

That alone should open a can of worms, but it is a can that we as parents MUST open. The balance has to be there. The re-centering with the Gospel must happen. Ask the hard questions; then take the hard steps.

2 comments:

Richard Barbee said...

As a family therapist, I know that the biggest influence on our children is the group of adults in their lives. Children imitate what adults do.

Certianly, mom and dad tend to have the greatest amount of influence. In my experience, few parents are sincerely willing to consider their influence in their children's lives.

Whether it be our Christian witness, our work ethic, our communication patterns, or whatever, WE are the biggest influence in the lives of children.

Adults create the media program, but they are generaly faceless strangers that the child will never know. It is the familiar, everyday adults that have far more power....for the better or worse.

Anonymous said...

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