Relationship Building -- Just Be There!

The old saying, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' might have very limited, practical application in romantic relationships, but if applied to parenting it is a bonafide disaster.

As we approach Thanksgiving, and then Christmas (in reality, it has all rolled into one, so much so that the business world from this week on says, 'Get back to me in the new year'), my strong encouragement is to be with your children.

I don't mean to merely be present. I mean to be in relationship with them. Pastor Sager said Sunday, "When you're in love, presence communicates; you don't always need words." The same is true in some instances with parenting -- you don't always have to be 'having a talk' or working on a school project. They just want to be with us as we do . . . well, whatever we do! Decorating the tree or the house. Fixing a meal (I know it would be easier to do it yourself, but it wouldn't be better).

As the maddening busyness of the holidays begins to take over your calendar, mind and emotions, take control and create relational time with each of your immediate family members. Plan times of nothing but being together. Or, plan times of being together in an activity that does not require so much of the mind that you functionally don't know you're together. Plan one-on-ones with the kids (and the spouse).

Go see 'Christmas Carol' and 'The Blindside' as a family, then talk about them, laugh about the funny parts, flesh out any life lessons in each.

If you don't take control of your holidays, they will stress you, stress your children, perpetuate the American Cultural Serve-Me Stuff Grab, and widening the relational gap between you and the ones you love most.

Don't let it happen.

Links & Quotes

• This is good stuff! A great way to build relationship with and connect deeply with your child, especially 10s-to-14s. http://impulsivejoy.blogspot.com/2009/11/tell-me-story.html
• Great conversation starter over Thanksgiving: What do you want to be known for? Check this out. http://blog.stocksohio.com/2009/11/17/what-do-you-want-to-be-known-for-another-jacob-moment/
• Google goes safe for your kids. http://uptownkids.tv/wordpress/?p=2234
• "I must learn life’s lessons today in order to experience life’s successes tomorrow. Success tastes best when you pass those lessons on." -- from @MikeLandry on Twitter.
• "A true friend is the one who walks into the room when everyone else is walking out." -- from @IkeReighard.
• "A true disciple inquires not whether a fact is agreeable to his own reason, but whether it is in The Book." - Adoniram Judson, via @JoshuaHarris