The 'Complete Jesus' Required for Complete Parenting

The 'Complete Jesus' Completes Parenting
Who is this Jesus and what does He have to do with your parenting?
How do you ‘present’ Jesus to your children?
      a) merely necessary for salvation
      b) teacher of moral truth
      c) God Himself who desires by the Holy Spirit to have personal, redemptive relationship that guides us into good works He has already prepared for us, with peace, power and purpose


Ed Stetzer recently warned a gathering of ministers to beware of ‘moralistic deism.’ That is the idea that we have to be good because there is a God up there watching.

God is watching. But He’s not Big Brother, and He’s not merely ‘up there.’ God entered into man’s life, and walked with Him, and loved Him.

What does this have to do with parenting? Absolutely everything. Who is the perfect Father? Who do we want to model as parents?

‘Moralistic Deism’ is NOT the Gospel we want to give our children. While most 17-year-olds aren’t saying, ‘Just one more year and I can go off to college and escape this church stuff,’ it is still true that the ones we’ll lose – that is, the one’s who won’t passionately serve Jesus and live our His purposes – are the ones who see Him as nothing but Big Brother with a crown on.

We must introduce our children to a relational God who wants to be in their lives!

And isn’t it a profoundly encouraging thing to you that God does want to be in your children’s lives? I shudder to think how my kids would do if all they had to go on was my worldly wisdom.

But God gives me wisdom, and I can pass it on to them, AND He gives them wisdom.

In order to get wisdom from God, you have to be seeking it.

So the clear question before us, the key question that informs whether we are actually equipping our children, is ‘Are you – parent – walking with Christ, and thus receiving from Him wisdom and counsel to pass on to your children, and are you passing it on?”

They are highly unlikely to get what you don’t!

Stetzer wasn’t speaking of parents – but it applies – when he said, “We are a little guilty of offering an incomplete Jesus and an incomplete Gospel. Are we speaking the Gospel and marrying it with lives around us? We are not validating the Gospel with lives lived well!”

Parents, are you ‘validating’ the Gospel you tell your children to follow, with lives lived well?

‘The Gospel’ – Christ – stepped INTO our lives. Stetzer says, speaking of the next generation of which our children are a part, ‘Step into the room’ instead of inviting young adults to come out of it.

What are the ramifications of this ideas for parenting? (discussion)

The Complete Gospel → The Complete Parent → The Complete Child

Transition into↓

Deuteronomy 5 (underline emphasis mine; bold is commentary)

1 And Moses called all Israel, and said to them: "Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak in your hearing today, that you may learn them and be careful to observe them. 2 The Lord our God made a covenant with us in Horeb. 3 The Lord did not make this covenant with our fathers, but with us, those who are here today, all of us who are alive. 4 The Lord talked with you face to face on the mountain from the midst of the fire.—Personal contact, me-to-you, direct, more meaningful, ‘not to x’ but to you 5 I stood between the Lord and you at that time, to declare to you the word of the Lord; for you were afraid because of the fire, and you did not go up the mountain. He said:

6 'I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.- indebtedness -7 'You shall have no other gods before Me. I did this; no one else. You couldn’t save yourself. Now, here’s what I ask. 8 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; PERSONAL God; images are religious, God is personal 9 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, see previous; I did this, not x, and now this. . . visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, backwards saying do this in part to bless your children . . .’so that it is well with you. . .’ 10 but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. Stark contrast – do this and win, do that and lose

Summary of v.s 1-10

Teaching children, overarching, the nature of God

a) Rescuer – exclusive ability to rescue – v. 6 – explain verse application

An overarching principle of this class is that in everything we learn, we consider how to teach it to our children, so how do we teach out children about God as Rescuer? (discussion) Besides reading to them and explaining verses that show Him as rescuer, we can simply look for teachable moments. Let me preface an example by reminding you that YOU are the first god-image to your children, especially as they are younger. For a small child in particular, it would be completely natural, in a moment when you ‘rescue’ your child – for instance, from the out-of-control swing, the too-high slide, the creek they can’t quite cross – to remind them light-heartedly, ‘God rescues us through our troubles just like I’m rescuing you from this run-away Merry go round!”

How do we teach a similar concept to middle schoolers? How do you ‘rescue’ them? Spending 2 hours cramming for a test? Remembering something crucial they were about to forget? Simply think ‘teachable moments’ all the time. As parents, we do lots of rescuing!

b) Personal – v. 4, v. 8, v. 9 – explain verse application

Teaching our children about God being a personal God really shouldn’t be so complicated. When God is ‘personal’ with you – when He tells you something, comforts you, encourages you, blesses you – use some of those examples with your children. Develop the habit of saying, ‘Today God (spoke to me about, comforting me this way, encouraged me in . . . etc.) and He can do the same with you.’ Sometimes when you have a more personal, intimate moment with your children, remind them, ‘God is even more personal than we are the more we get to know Him.’ SHOW them God’s personal interaction, explain it to them, and facilitate them having the same, by creating opportunity and expectation in your household of quiet time and interaction with God.’

c) Desires to bless FAMILIES, flipside of v .9b is 10 – explain verse application -- our family is deeply affected!

It is vital that we communicate with our kids that God created the family, loves our family, and has purpose for our family. This happens we have God at the meal table, i.e, He is frequently the center of discussions. When what the family is going to do – the schedule, the activities, the vacations, etc. – we discuss it in the context of what God would have us do.

d) Firm in principles – v. 10, ‘who . . . keep my commandments’

God doesn’t negotiate. He loves. He forgives. He encourages. He isn’t mean or cold. He simply doesn’t negotiate. His blessing are for those who ‘keep my commandments.’ How do we teach this to our children? In the essentials, we don’t negotiate either. We lovingly draw lines and keep them. We say, ‘In our home, we don’t do X’, or ‘Y’ doesn’t happen.’ Then if it does, it has a consequence. We use God’s firm standards as the guide for our standards, and we regularly communicate to our children – especially to middle schoolers, who are forming life-shaping opinions – that God’s standards are the rationale behind ours.

In all of the above, teaching our children is as simple as having in mind specific things you want to teach and being aware of teachable moments. They’ll come, sometimes many times a day!

While that requires some thoughtful preparation on your part, the best news is that because God wants you to teach these things to your family, the Holy Spirit is there to help you observe the teachable moments, and help you put into words what you want to communicate. Ask Him for help and trust Him!

What Your Middle Schoolers Heard in Bible Fellowship Sunday

A message on how Jesus calls them to live radical lives, lives the world would think are odd. The messages challenges them to consciously seek to impact the World.

Follow-up/Discussion starters:
• What kind of dreams do you have of impacting the world?
• What kind of gifts, passions, etc., do you think God has given you that He can use to impact the world?
• What’s one way you can be ‘different in a Godly way’ this week at school that can impact your peers?
• What do you think our family can do to make a radical difference?