Equippers Newsletter -- Relationship Reality

What are you teaching your children about what to expect from their relationship within your family? Don’t short-change this question – it is very important. How you posture yourself as a parent – how you teach your children to posture themselves as children, siblings and friends – is vital to whether the genuine love and transformation of Christ can flow through. In fact, it shouldn’t be ‘posturing’ at all, but much of what we self-centered humans do is just that. Chambers taught, “Our Lord is so obviously uncompromising with regard to every human relationship because He knows that every relationship not based on faithfulness to Himself will end in disaster. Our Lord trusted no one, and never placed His faith in people, yet He was never suspicious or bitter.”
Let’s flesh this out a bit. Should we expect our children to trust us? Of course. But will we let them down at times, fail, make wrong decisions, have outbursts? Well, as I like to tell the parents I teach, “I live where you live, and vice-versa” so if you live at my place, you’ll mess up! So can they trust us? In a sense, no, because we’re failed beings, but they can trust the intent of our heart to the extent that we walk with Christ daily. If that is what is coming through – and we show that we are consistently seeking God and striving to serve our children – then His love will outpace our failures.

We must strike a careful, Godly, balance based on complete honesty. We must teach our children that our home is the ‘safe place’ emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and physically, but that the ultimate Protector – the One truly worthy to trust – is God. We must present God as ‘perfect Father,’ and speak to them of Him in that context. We must be humble enough to admit that we make mistakes consistently, but that by His authority they are still under our authority and protection and that He will ultimately cover it all.

I consistently tell my children that -- with regard to discipline decisions, or how we speak, or decisions about what they can and can’t do -- Judy and I expect to be right the overwhelming majority of the time, but that when we’re wrong, they simply get some practice at forgiveness! It’s not a smart-aleck remark – though I say it jokingly sometimes – it’s a serious point.

If we raise our children to see God as ‘Ultimate Father,’ and they see us in vibrant relationship to Him; if we are not too proud to admit mistakes without surrendering leadership, our children will not grow up and use every mistake we made as an excuse for failure, but they will grow up with a realistic view of fallen-but-redeemed man. And we will have served them well.

Other thoughts, links, etc.

• "Depend upon it, God's work, done in God's way, will never lack God's supply." - Hudson Taylor. In the context of this quote, what is it you are doing that simply isn’t working? You either aren’t supposed to be doing that, or you aren’t doing it God’s way. Carefully ask Him which. Don’t make a rash decision, just listen. Parents, Parents, you don’t have time for what He didn’t tell you to do! As I say to my kids 243 times a day, ‘FOCUS.’ (Meanwhile I have answered five e-mails while writing this blog . . .)

• When only He can help, I’m glad (in my spirit, not necessarily in my human nature) because anything less than Him would have been inadequate and would have most likely result in more failure, extended grief/pain/suffering, and a repeating of the cycle designed to draw me back to Him. We humans resist ultimate surrender, but it is the path to ultimate healing and freedom. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 1 that he felt the sentence of death – I believe he meant that he had just as soon be dead as alive. After all, he stated that sentiment in other places – but that he felt that sentence so that Christ might display His power. Are you scared when you hit rock bottom? That’s human nature. But we have to be willing to be scared, willing to let go, in order to discover the place where takes over. It’s scary-good place, the place of renewal and supernatural power. I’ve talked to several people – including parents of teens – this week who appear to be at ‘rock bottom.’ It is fork-in-the-road time. Pray they will trust God’s strength. And do the same yourself.

• Check out http://www.alvinreid.com/. The second (currently, could be deeper depending on when you read this) blog entry, ‘Suggested Reading for Middle School Students.’ Alvin is a mentor and good friend. Check him out, and give your kids some meaningful reading material.

Are You Looking at Sin or Salvation?

Oswald Chambers taught, “The mystery of sanctification is that all the perfect qualities of Jesus are at my disposal.”

The enemy knowing this full well, he wants to distract us. When we struggle with repetitive sin, we often focus on it. We think, “I MUST STOP THAT. We read books about it. We pray about it. Maybe – probably not, but maybe if desperate enough – we tell our closest Christian friends about our struggle and ask them to pray. But mostly we focus on it – THE THING WE CAN’T STOP DOING.

And yet all the while the “perfect qualities of Jesus” are “at my disposal.”

If you look into darkness, you will begat darkness. If you look into light, you will begat light. We often fail to overcome because we are stupefied by our sin, then repulsed by our selves. Quit looking at your sin and your self!

Look unto Jesus. Think about the fact that He has given power to overcome, ask for this power, and focus on the right action, the good He is doing in and through you – the light!

I remember when I first started driving. Where I looked, the car would drift . . . . isn’t is that way in our walk with Christ? We must look straight ahead, to the straight and narrow path. We must look into light. The enemy wants us looking beyond the guard rails, off road, into danger, especially if it’s a place we are familiar with.

Look at Him. Look at deliverance. Look at hope.

An 'Executive Summary' of What It Means to Live for Christ -- 1 Peter 1

1 Peter 1: 3-16
3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen F1 you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith--the salvation of your souls.
10 Of this salvation the prophets have inquired and searched carefully, who prophesied of the grace that would come to you, 11 searching what, or what manner of time, the Spirit of Christ who was in them was indicating when He testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. 12 To them it was revealed that, not to themselves, but to us F2 they were ministering the things which now have been reported to you through those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven--things which angels desire to look into.
Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 14 as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; 15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 because it is written, "Be holy, for I am holy."

Preamble
Oswald Chambers writes: “The teachings of Jesus are all out of proportion when compared to our natural way of looking at things, and they come to us initially with astonishing discomfort.”

We should let that help frame our response to today’s teaching.

Framing
1 Peter presents us with a thorough yet concise explanation of how we are to live. It gives us eternal context and specific instruction. In short, this is an ‘executive summary’ of the truth about living for Christ. Let’s look at the key elements of chapter one.

Verses 3-5 remind of what we have – eternal salvation! – and where it came from. That frames everything. We could consider that at length, but I want to focus on the earthly implications for now, since that’s where we all live, though we don’t reside. Friends, if you don’t understand that you’re just ‘visiting here,’ then you are going to make this your home. When you make a place your home, you spend a lot of time fixing it up. Getting it just like you want it. It’s your focus. You want it bigger, better, and more ‘just like you want it.’ If you spend that kind of attention on your earthly comforts, you’ll miss the eternal point, and frankly you won’t be of much use in eternal matters. And as Christians, ALL the matters we deal with on earth are eternal matters, because they deal with relationships, and our purpose is to make disciples of all men, i.e., introduce people to Christ and mature them in Him.

Overarching Point
Larry Crabb writes, “The choice before us is rather stark: either to live to be comfortable (internally and externally, but especially internally), or live to know God. We can’t have it both ways; one choice excludes the other.”

In verse six we are reminded to rejoice over this salvation, and then come the vital words, “though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials.”

“For a little while” -- temporary. Even if earthly ‘permanent,’ ALL discomfort and pain is only a nano-second of eternity, and hwe have eternity with God!

”if need be” – according to God’s grander purposes. And this also would indicate that His purpose is NOT to hurt us, though He is willing that we be hurt (all caused by sin anyway) “if need be”

When you are hurting, and it seems unwarranted, or it seems unfair, or it just hurts! Perhaps you should remember this verse and say, “It must need be”

It is good to stop and consider, ‘Why are we having ‘various trials?’ ‘ First of all, because of ‘original sin,’ i.e., the sin of Adam and Eve has burdened us with a sin nature that has been fully overcome, yet we must ‘work out our salvation’ (which has been granted; this does not mean ‘work for’ salvation) on earth, knowing we have full inheritance in heaven. Life here subjects us to hardships because of sin – not necessarily even our own direct sin, but simply the sin that is present in the world and causes disease, violence, etc. (Of course, we can be in hardship because of direct sin, too). But even this fits into God’s plan as He uses us to exhibit His grace in the midst of hardship.

So we are subject to this for a greater purpose: “that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

Bottom Line
We are tested so that we can show our faith. It’s as simple as that. Hard, yes, but simple.

Key Truth We Must Accept in Order to Deal with the Bottom Line
Overwhelmingly in life, we are saved ‘through’ hardship, not ‘from’ it.

There is a soft Gospel version that is really a non-Gospel that seeks to turn Jesus into our magic genie. American Cultural Christianity has lapsed into this, mostly quite accidentally, some very intentionally. Many automatically think that if something bad happens to them, they must have sinned to cause it, or something is wrong with their walk. Both can be true, but it is well within God’s economy – per many, many Scripture – for neither to be true.

Should we pray for healing? Absolutely. He will do that this side of heaven sometimes – when it fits His will and purpose. Should we pray for a job? Of course. But clearly His purposes are higher than our purposes, and clearly He has purpose in our hardships, not desiring to defeat us, but to reveal us as His to the world, that they might see Him!

Starting at verse 13, “Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 14 as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; 15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 because it is written, "Be holy, for I am holy."

“Therefore” what? Therefore since you are saved eternally by so great a salvation, requiring the sacrifice of the perfect God/man – so great a salvation that angels desire to look into its mystery – therefore stand firm in trial so that others can see the power of Christ in you and be saved! Therefore stand firm in trial so that you can honor this benevolent God who saved you instead of let you live separated in hell with the one-third of the angels who only wanted to look into being God themselves!

Isn’t that what it comes down to so often in our lives – who is God? You/Me, or Him? So great a salvation requires perseverance in trials, and personally knowing God. Understanding from Scripture and by the Holy Spirit His purpose through hardship, gives us context and power to ‘Be Holy.’

The Audacity of Man in Playing God

Recently someone died who was well known and popular. I knew him a little and liked the man, but never saw any inclination toward spiritual things, or Christ in particular. I heard that he a few months before he died, he said, "I'm not a religious man."

And with that declaration he rid himself of the concern.

Temporarily.

I am saddened for the man, and pointing at him in particular is not my point. My point is this: We humans, especially in American culture and once granted an ounce of education, are so profoundly obnoxious in our intellect, so prideful, that apparently we (as a culture) think that what we think sets the course.

Apparently a man can declare, "I am not a religious man," and simply proceed to believe that his self-declaration actually makes the question of whether there is a God and who he is mute to him. In essence, that one makes himself God by declaring that it doesn't affect him whether there is a God.

This is the typical condition of lost man in America -- he indeed plays God. This is the ultimate audacity, the ultimate pride. We must be willing as born again people -- not better people, but simply those who have been granted and accepted the grace and mercy of Christ -- to lovingly challenge such people.

The man of whom I speak is celebrated and loved. He did many good things. He will be reveled as a good man at his memorial, and perhaps in a purely earthly context, he was.

But the moment he died something happened. There either was or was not a god (there is; I know Him). He either is or is not Jesus Christ (He is!). And he met him. And all before him didn't matter, and he now realizes the vast miscalculation of his intellect, the vast pride, and if he could tell the world otherwise, he would.

Moving Forward Wisely & Intentionally

What do you have to do to conform to this world?
Nothing.
Perhaps you've heard the question and answer before, so don't let it gloss over you like an joke you've heard. It is profound truth. This world will conform if you don't intentionally conform to the truth of the Word of God and the person of Jesus Christ, who is expressed in us by the Holy Spirit.

What you read matters.
What you watch matters.
What you listen to matters.
Saying, 'Oh, it's just (fill in the blank with whatever seculary expression of music, TV, thought, etc.)' is dangerous. It is a slippery slope.
That is not to say you should be a prude who is not aware of the world and its influences, who cannot inteligently speak about them, who has never heard a secular song or seen a secular movie. But it does mean that in order to be 'in the world but not of it' you must intentionally fill your mind with God's truth, which will inform your perspective on the world.
Doing nothing is not an option -- unless you are of this world.

Do You Trust Him?

I recently read about how we create 'ruts' in our brain with our thinking patterns, and how the brain can be re-trained -- re-rutted, if you will -- if we choose to think differently.

Most of spiritual growth is about learning to think differently. Our goal must be to think like Jesus about everything, to accept the truths of the Word of God intellectually, so we can then begin to process them emotionally and in turn change our actions.

At issue daily, in countless decisions, is whether we trust God.

Worry often overwhelms us. Intellectual worry turns quickly to physical stress, which breaks down our bodies and kills us. I know people whom I'm quite sure are literally killing themselves due to their stress.

We must accept that a) worry is sin. It is misplaced prayer, someone wrote. b) God is not caught off guard by anything. As the Father, Son and Holy Spirit work in my life (See Romans 8:26, 34 to note that the Spirit and Jesus are at the right hand of the Father constantly interceding), there has never been an 'emergency meeting' because they have never been surprised.

When tempted to worry, we must a) remind ourselves that God knows; b) remind ourselves that God loves us so much that He sent His Son to die so that He might renew relationship with us, thus He cares passionately; c) immediately turn worry to prayer.

It is a simple but profound matter of faith. Do we believe Him, or must we handle it ourselves? We won't break through to genuine fellowship with God until we trust Him.

Real Prayer vs. Religious Prayer

We have made prayer part of religion, and now most of our people don't know how to do it, and it has little impact in their life. 'Praying for you' has become a nice little religious cliche' that might mean someone is praying for you, or might not. It means 'we care, and if we think of it we'll pray for you' rather than 'we will consistently intercede with the Father for His will to be done in ______' (not true for everyone, but for most).

Prayer has been minimalized and marginalized. We have found a way to package and process prayer, thus hyper- and pseudo-intellectualizing what should be a terribly simple thing: talking with God. (After all, a Christian does know Him, right? And people we know we usually don't have trouble talking with, right? And if we do, it's in part because of some problem in the relationship, and since God is perfect and doesn't create any problems in our relationship, talking with Him should be easier than talking with even your best friend, right?)

If you called a 'prayer meeting' most wouldn't come, some because they wouldn't know what to do. They would want to know 'what are the rules?' Told that the only rules were that there were none, they wouldn't know what to do.

People think of prayer in much the way as they do a 'program' or a religious rite. Their practice of it is routine but shallow and relatively powerless. This isn't intentional on their part, but praying to God is, to many people, a mildly comforting release, a magic-genie-list of requests, and since God occassionally comes through with 1 or 2 of the things on their list, they'll keep trying it. It's just part of the rest of the relatively powerless religious grid. I know that sounds harsh, but consider the prayer lives around you. Consider the power or lack thereof, flowing around you.

Think about it with me: What is prayer? Communication with God. So, must we have our eyes closed and heads bowed? (Not that either are bad; they have purpose). Must we creat a 'list' first (as if God didn't hear the first time, when we made the list)? Is prayer supposed to be us telling Him what we want?

Prayer is communication with God, which should be to spiritual life as breathing is to physical life. Yet for those who want to go deeper in prayer, we have prayer classes. That's not all bad, but did anybody have to teach you how to breath?

Talking with God should be natural. It is how we enter the supernatural. More importantly, it's how the supernatural enters into us, meaning His wisdom, comfort, peace, counsel, by the Holy Spirit. (This also comes from studying the Word of God) It is not merely for the very spiritual (whatever that means). I know people who, when they have a need, make sure pastors and spiritual leaders in particular are praying for them. What? Do they have 'more direct access?' Can't anybody who knows God do this? Yes. (As a pastor, let me say I'm very glad to pray for people, but my point is that I am no more capable of powerful intercessory prayer than someone's Sunday School teacher or Godly neighbor).

Prayer is almost always man telling God what He wants. Listen, in this whole talking with God idea, WHO NEEEDS TO HEAR FROM WHOM?

Prayer is communication with God, not communication at God. And if I have any sense at all, and I meet God (and I have and do, though I'm also preaching to the man in the mirror in this entry), I'll listen more, talk less. I won't put on my figurative religious robe, I'll just communicate. That looks like this:

I share my heart with God, usually briefly (since He does know already; though at times pouring out your heart to God at length is necessary). As I do that, I state to Him what I know from Scripture is His will about a situation, if I indeed know that. Then I ask Him to speak to me. That happens by the Holy Spirit, which reminds us of all Jesus has taught, i.e., brings to our mind Scripture at the times we need it. He also gives peace, comfort and counsel. These are the things I usually need in prayer.

This goes on anytime I want it to and anytime I'm prompted to by the Spirit or others' needs. It's like a conversation, but it's a conversation on spiriutal steriods. How do the comments in a conversation go? Me. You. Me. You. You. You. Me. Me. Me. You. Me. It's sort of back and forth, sometimes more one than the other for a little while. That's conversation. There's no reason it should be any diferent in prayer, EXCEPT THAT, if I'm having a conversation with a person very knowledgable in an area I need to learn about, I listen more than I talk. Well, since we're conversing WITH GOD . . .

In short, we've sold prayer short, tucked it into our religious closet, and we pull it out to rub the magic genie, or in utter desperation. Kind of like holding your breath until you just HAVE TO breath.

Let's pray. Really pray. Say something. Then listen.

. . . At Every Turn of the Mind

At every turn of the mind we must surrender to Christ. The battle is in the mind, and it is our human nature's desire to turn every thought to ourselves. We must take every thought captive. I find most thoughts battling for self-fulfilment. Most thoughts are my ideas about how to fix something, fix someone, or make myself more 'comfortable.' Before these thoughts are complete I must give them over and let the Spirit give me His thoughts. Self-fulfilment -- read: even self-thinking -- is shallow, substitutionary pleasure and fulfilment, at best. Spirit fulfilment is fullness, freshness, freedom -- and power. Power to impact the world.

Leave It Alone

If you are walking with Christ, and you are not satisfied with your circumstances (in whatever realms of life), more often than not you should 'leave it alone.' So often man tries to interfere with God's plan. "God has me pretty much on track, but let me help out by _______" is the way it plays out. Oh, man doesn't actually think that way in his head, but in his heart he does, and he tinkers with things.

But if we are indeed walking with Christ, He has everything -- every detail -- in control. We don't need to call around to see what's going to come down in the next big business meeting. We don't have to try to get Person A to tell Person B something that helps position us better. Etc. Etc.

If we walk with Him, carry ourselves in integrity, then He'll do far better at positioning us than we will do. He'll bring about the opportunities in His way, in His timing. In so doing, He'll save us from things we thought we should do that would only have been trouble, failure or major distraction, and align us exactly where we should be.

When you feel anxious, as if you should do something, check yourself; if you are not walking with Christ, the only thing you should do is get back in right relationship with Him. If you are walking with Christ, then leave it alone.

Words Matter

“You will never realize the significance of words until you realize that the first words spoken were not from man, but from God.” -- Paul David Tripp

So shouldn’t this give some priority order to words? As in, ‘His first, mine second.’ My encouragement to you is several fold:

a) Since He spoke first, let’s let Him speak first every day, and in every situation.
b) Since He put His ‘words’ in The Word (the Bible), let’s spend a meaningful amount of time (i.e., not a 5-minute warm fuzzy devotional that someone else wrote) imbibing His Word daily.
c) Since Jesus was the Word who became life, let’s focus on Him and trust Him daily.
d) Let’s measure every word we speak against His word. Two things would happen: 1) we would say less (and honor God more!) 2) We would speak more truth in more grace.

Hear More, Say Less

Watchman Nee reminds us that merely learning more Scripture isn't growing it in Christ; being filled more and more with Jesus is growing more in Christ. Most of us who follow Christ need to listen more and talk less -- in our relationship with God and with man. God desires to speak to us, but we grab five minutes of 'quiet time' here and there, listen to Christian radio, catch a snippet of a sermon and actually think we've been with God. We're fooling ourselves. Our earthly relationships require real time. So does our heavenly one.

As we grow in Christ, we yearn, hunger, pant for, more time with Him. When you feel that hunger, satisfy it! Time will work itself out accordingly. He redeems time when we spend it first on Him.

NOW!

Many Christians live with grand visions for the future, always planning, always excited about what God is going to do. How about now? The challenge I face is to do what God wants me to do today. This minute. With the next person I meet, the next call I get, the next minute I live.

If all we do is look forward to what He's going to do -- and there is a place for that, vision is vital and preparation for the future is important -- we may miss the privilege of being Gods hands, feet and mouthpiece here and now. His desire is to live through us minute-by-minute. Let's start NOW.

Think About It . . .

'Lordship Salvation' Is Redundant

Seeking Him with your Whole Heart

“Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with the whole heart!”

What does it mean to seek Him with our whole heart? Until we come to the end of ourselves, we really won’t do this. We’ll seek the ‘benefits’ of relationship with God, His rub-the-genie effect, so to speak. We’ll seek the fellowship of God’s people, because we find a presumable nicer, cleaner, more acceptable set of companions. We’ll seek some peripheral ‘God stuff,’ but we won’t seek Him with out whole heart until we realize there is something in us that needs to die and that we aren’t able to kill it. We must desire to NOT be like us, and to be like Him, and we must realize that in our own power we don’t stand a chance of this. At that point a person can begin to seek Him with His whole heart. Everything short of that is religious wrappings.

Does Anybody Have Anything Meaningful to Say?

I’m sitting in Panera studying and wi-fi’ing, and there’s a man sitting behind me who is so excited about his favorite thing that he can’t keep his mouth shut. He’s talking to a client about The Eagles. He knows everything about the Eagles. The new album has been out for months, and he is detailing its songs, telling how many it has sold and how that compares to the other mega-bands of the past few generations. He has told her about all the concerts he has attended and the outrageous price he paid for tickets. He has everything the Eagles ever produced. He is probably in his mid-50s, and apparently the one thing he can passionately speak about in his life is The Eagles.

His dialogue (actually, diatribe, as she hasn’t said a thing; he apparently hasn’t noticed that she couldn’t care less about The Eagles) is a commentary on the condition of man in our culture. Most people get excited about what doesn’t matter, and pay little attention to what does. We are a surface society, deep in needs, shallow in substance, pursuing the topical, dying in the inside. What if this man knew Jesus? How could he be part of changing the world if he was talking excitedly about Jesus?

But how about those who know Jesus, and just sit there and engage in the same type of conversation with such a man, never transitioning it to what really matters. What about all of us (I’m guilty!) who don’t speak so excitedly about the most important thing to us? If I could explain about Jesus, the Cross and salvation the way the man behind me can unpack the Eagles, more people would be coming to Christ!

The Eagles can’t save this man. My Jesus has saved me. And it’s secure! The ONLY way that living in eternity (which we are already in) with Jesus is like the Hotel California is that I can check out any time I want, but I can never leave! That’s something worthy of talking about.