Trials & Stress are Great Teachable Moments

I was obviously a little down, and grumpy, this morning as I drove my kids to school and went to the office. Just had a lot on my mind. As they got out of the car, 14-year-old Tori turned to me and said with a smile, "Read Psalm 46."

Good idea. (And as an aside, isn't it nice as a parent to see/hear your counsel come back around?) That leads me to my point today:

Are you handling trouble and stress in such a manner that your children can see God moving?

To do so would require handling trouble/stress properly, and handling (selectively, wisdom required!) it in front of or with your children enough for them to know how you do it.

Psalm 46 begins, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

Do your kids see you running to the right type of refuge(s)? Is your strength from him or some artificial, self-powered substitute?

Do they see, by your actions, that you believe God is a very present help in trouble?

I encourage you to read the rest of the Psalm, as well, but at the foundation of it is v. 1 and v. 10, which reads in part, "Be still, and know that I am God."

Let me cut to the chase: So often we scramble in our own power, with nothing more than 'man wisdom' to handle our problems and stresses. Our lives show that doesn't work!

Our kids are watching as we do that. We can't control ourselves, so our stress from troubles flows out of us, and they often see a very unhealthy picture of how to manage it.

But if we model -- and the best modeling is not merely talking about how we would handle trouble and stress -- stillness and trust in God in the midst of trial, they will learn.

• They will learn that He is ever present and eager to help in troubles.


• They will learn that He gives strength.


• They will learn He is the only safe place to run to!


• They will be still and mediate on God and His Word, because it brings peace, then clarity, then power.


• They will not fear as deeply or for as long (see v. 2), because they know Who has them and His great power.

That is the model -- and I struggle to return to it in each trial! -- for handling trouble and stress. Teaching it to our children means we must adjust to living that way, but must also be transparent enough to let the children see some of our struggles. Some parents want to put on the 'everything is OK face' all the time. I might be tempted to do that myself -- if I was capable of it! But my trouble, my mood -- my heart -- is, frankly usually on my sleeve.

It's not so bad to wear your heart on your sleeve if you can consistently turn it to Christ. I'm still striving for that.

Links, Notes, Quotes

* Please go www.fbconcord.org/parenthood and register for 'Surviving Parenthood,' our parent conference on April 10. If you care enough to give one day to becoming a better parent, this is the day. Practical, Biblical help for parents of all ages.

* I am not endorsing every word spoken in this video, or taking a stance about education styles, but this is thought-provoking enough to be of value to you. http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/17/ted.ken.robinson/index.html?hpt=C1

* Are you part of, or do you know, a blended family? Check out this site, share with others in the same situation: http://www.unitedmarriageandfamilyassociates.com/

* While we're writing about handling trouble and stress, if you have created it via sin, consider what a new believer from Iran said at a ladies conference she was attending: “What a release it is when you don't justify yourself, but repent."

* Let's talk to our kids about sins of 'omission' as well as 'commission.' For that matter, let's talk to ourselves about it! Per Proverbs 3:28, if you have the ability to meet a need, do it. Right then.