A recent anonymous polling of the concerns of a large group of middle schoolers in a youth worship service revealed that the biggest issue on most of their minds were a) the security of their home; b) Dad's.
In other words,
many middle school students sense the instability in their homes -- many actually fearing it will break apart -- and many see major concerns with their fathers. (Experientially, I see no reason why the data would be any different for high school students).
While the students may not realize it,
those two are essentially the same concern. It all starts with leadership, and in the two-parent home, that means with Dad.
As I was contemplating this information and preparing to teaching my Equippers of Middle Schoolers class, the Holy Spirit gave me two passages to unpack: 2 Chronicles 7:14 and Ephesians 5:22-26.
Before we look at their implication for the home, every parent or set of parents should challenge themselves with these, related, question:
Is this home stable? Is the marriage secure? Are we built on rock or sand? Is this an emotionally and spiritually safe place?
These are healthy and harmless things to ask. The parent(s) that come away feeling confident that they are largley 'on track' in their walk are simply reassured in the Spirit. Everyone else will know work is needed.
And the work begins with revival. 'Revival' in the typical, Southern, evangelical culture is a funny thing. A sad thing, but a funny thing. So many churches have 'revivals' with no real goal for what they are seeking (an evangelistic outreach, or a revival of the church?). Pastors and deacons cry out, begging God to 'send revival.'
This is totally unnecessary.
God told us exactly how to have revival. He is not always a God of formulas, but in the case of revival, He is. And the formula works at home as well as in the church body.
But before the formula (7:14), let's look at the context. The Lord told Solomon, recorded in v. 13, "
When I shut up heaven and there is no rain, or command the locusts to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people"
In other words, when things are bad, when it appears my hand is not on you, do this:
"
If My people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land."
Daddys, your land is your home, your family. I believe the above will apply to families. When you know you are unstable, lead your family in repentance, and let it start with you! You must:
a) humble yourself. No cocky, I've-got-it-figured-out, I'm-the-boss mentality. Return to your Lord in humilty. Let your family see it, too!
b) Pray, and seek His face. I think it says
"seek my face" to help us understand that our God doesn't want a rote, religious, here's-my-list-of-stuff-for-you-to-do prayer.
He wants intimate fellowship, two-way communication, face-down-heart-up prayer.
c) Through a) and b) you'll be made away of what to repent of, then you must "
turn from (your) wicked ways."
Folks, if any daddy, or single mommy, will do this, revival will come to that home! Forgiveness will come. Healing will begin. Emotional bondage will reduce or be eliminated. Stress will decline. The power of the Holy Spirit will begin to flow.
You notice that the best way for this to work is for Daddy to lead. That takes us to the other passage God told me to teach: Ephesians 5:22-26.
This passage speaks of the God-ordained role of husband and wife, and how they are to execute those roles.
When we get those roles out of order, the whole thing messes up. Perhaps the biggest real reason kids think their families are falling apart is because Dad's have abdicated their role, and Mom is the spiritual leader. Or there is none. Or Mom is embittered because Dad has abandoned the role. It gets pretty complex emotionally.
The Word tells us the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, and that he is to love her as Christ loved the church and as he loves his own body.
If a man really did that, a woman would never have issue with her position! If a man really did that -- love his wife as Christ loved the church (sacrifically, her interests first, gently but firmly) -- there would be
profound stability and safety in the home.
Furthermore, an illustration used is that Christ sanctifies and cleanses the church by the washing her with the Word. This is the way it is to be at home, too!
Husbands, sanctify and cleanse your home by teaching and praying the Word of God over your family daily. Let it be central. By instruction to you to give them, and by direct revelation, the Holy Spirit will use the word to cleanse and sanctify your family!
And yet the church today has even made this hard for man, implicitly posturing ourselves (ordained men, elders, teachers) as the experts who must teach the Word. No, daddy's must teach the Word! The Holy Spirit is there to help you. Pastors and books and many helps are there to assist, but Daddy's must deliver the Word.
In short, the stability of the home today does not rest in some complicated psychology or complex process. There are many books out there about the family (I wrote one), but the answer does not come from books, but from The Book, and the simple, direct, powerful instruction it gives that will transform.
We need to repent, and we need to keep or make the order in the home what God said it should be.
Pardon me if I'm a simple man, but I do think it is that simple.
